Updated: Jan 15, 2019
Today will be a day of places beginning with M. Do not get used to this blog becoming something even remotely organised or alphabetically-based. You will only be disappointed. It is merely today’s quirk. Tomorrow’s quirk has not yet been decided upon, nor whether or not there will be a tomorrow.
Malawi. In researching Malawi I have come across the following Foreign Office Travel Advice Warning. It is the single most terrifying warning I will ever come across.
"In the period since 24 July there have been reports of possible incidents of unrest and violence in rural areas of Mulanje, linked to rumours of bloodsuckers."
Only actual reports of actual Zombii will trump this. (Yes, the use of the word Trump in the previous sentence was deliberate. After all, what are Zombii but shuffling braindead morons, leaking bile and faeces, dribbling incoherent babble and generally making things less nice than they were before they showed up?)
Macedonia is just north of Greece or in Greece depending on to whom you talk. Zooming on the moderately interesting-looking Telekom Stadium and you are transported to an internal photographic location. Of a sauna changing room. In fairness it is probably the changing room OF the Telekom Stadium which isn’t so weird in itself, though its passing resemblance to a local-authority-run sauna is worth commenting on. At least the bins have been recently emptied.
The capital Skopje seems to be a neat blend of tree-lined avenues and also a fuckhole. And speaking of bins, which I appear to be doing more than usual, there’s a man around 15 Drezdenska with a bicycle pulling along a large wire cage. He is either collecting empty tin cans and plastic bottles for the purpose of claiming the deposit, or he’s a casually dressed municipal worker collecting said items for recycling. Either way he’s doing a boss job.
Monetenegro is in the Balkans. Who’d have thought it? Not me. I’d have thought more like South America with a name like that. So, the incorrectly-named Montenegro possesses a stunning body of water called Lake Skadar, which is an excellent name for a villain in an 80s cartoon series. Oh and a word of warning, if you are driving along the M2.4, right after Café Da Drini (with the café on your right) and before the bridge there is a small flock of sheep. Slow down so you don’t risk spooking them. And before you say, ‘yes but that picture was taken ages ago’ I will point out that you do not know that those sheep do not hang out there every single day of the year and I will urge you to put caution above your need to always be right about everything.
Further down the same road there are two large bins that really need emptying. Again with the bins I know, it’s that sort of day I guess. Some days I don’t write anything about bins. Yesterday I didn’t write anything about bins.
Monaco just looks annoying.
There's not a substantial amount of Street View coverage and the first thing I zoom into is the island’s rubbish dump. The next thing I zoom into is a pedestrian view of some sea from such rich dude’s boat. I think I’ll give this one a miss.
Now if we’re talking about Desert Island Paradises – this is it, if Desert Island Paradises are your thing. They’re very much not my thing so I’ll let you do your own further research on this one.
Federated States of Micronesia.
Ugh, more boring island bollocks. All right, something interesting about this one, there is an area called Pou, and there is a Pou Bay. Now there is definitely only one potential pronunciation of this which leads me to speculate that the inhabitants of the nearby Ananganan or Wichen must regularly ask each other, are you going to Pou?
Also not hugely represented by Street View but I can tell you it’s fucking enormous. Among the highlights are the attractive-looking grasslands, thought the exact spot of grassland where the photo was actually taken is a bit patchy. It’s probably had time to grow back since, but just to warn you. There’s also the Ghost Camel Rider of Mauritania which I urge you to seek out – one of the three Street View 'photo spheres' near to Gueron contains this mystic figure. He’s only mystic to me so if you happen to run into someone from Mauritania, don’t go banging on about the Ghost Camel Rider, you’ll only embarrass yourself.