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Happy Monday!

Monday 7th January 2019

Happy Monday!

Actually I wish that evolution had reached the point where anyone who utters the words ‘Happy Monday’ and is not referring to the band (actually fuck it, them too) should instantly experience a huge and irreversible simultaneous mechanical failure of the heart and brain. I couldn’t bring myself to write down what fate I would bestow on anyone who uses the phrase – “Happy Friday”.

Well the night-porter’s medical results are inconclusive (Kelvin? Can I call him Kelvin?). His symptoms are having a terrible effect on his ability to eat food. He is forced to make his breakfast porridge with water and not milk.

More on this story as it develops.

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